Navigating Change With Self-Compassion: Lessons From a Sunset

I love catching sunsets. I say catching because they’re so fleeting. So much so, in fact, that you could easily miss one if all you’re doing is rushing back into the house to grab your phone in an attempt to capture the grand moment. 

This is one of the reasons sunsets are so beautiful and special - some more than others, of course. Like this one here: I’d rate it a 7/10 on the awesome scale. A splash of purple would’ve raised it to at least an 8.5. 

Anyhow, what I’m saying is, they don’t last for long. Just as the colours start to blend into one another, brightening into an explosion of delicious sun-bathed hues, it all slowly begins to fade away into the horizon. Like the curtains closing at the finale of a show. And no two sunsets are ever exactly the same. For me, the best way to experience a sunset is to sit still long enough to simply behold its changing crescendo and decrescendo of majesty. Taking a selfie with a sunset backdrop is probably anything but being present in the moment. But I digress.

The changing, fleeting nature of sunsets reminds me that life is always changing. Our circumstances are always changing. 

I’ve heard it said that change is the only constant. 

Just when we think we have it all figured out, or we’ve found some sort of “perfect balance”, something shifts - something gets thrown into the mix and throws everything out of whack. Just when we think we’re making progress on a habit we’ve been trying to break, or a new one we’re trying to build, something knocks us off orbit. 

It’s in those interesting unravellings that we have a decision to make: are the setbacks all negative, like receiving a ‘minus’ mark on our journey of self-improvement and progress - serving only as reminders that we’re not measuring up, not reaching “the goal” - or could they be opportunities to learn and grow? Could they serve a purpose in our favour? Could these slips, relapses, pauses and stumbles be in fact opportunities to look inside and learn about ourselves, and to build capacity and resistance to weather more change in the future? 

What I'm finally learning from myself and people I work with is that setbacks aren’t failures, they’re opportunities to learn and grow. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it's the truth. And here's another truth bomb: your struggles, setbacks, slips and relapses don't make you a lesser 'you'. It just makes you a wonderfully imperfect, vulnerable and struggling human. And there are MANY of those around. Chances are, the person next to you is navigating their own unravellings — their own pause, retraction, or sidestep along their own journey. No matter your struggles, or how many times you've tried to make positive changes only to slip and fall - there is a truth that remains:

You are and will always and forever be worthy- wholly and unreservedly- of love, kindness, connection, compassion and respect. No matter how many attempts you've made. No matter how many sunsets you've seen or missed.  

The cool thing about sunsets is that there will always be another one tomorrow.  As long as we have breath, and surround ourselves with support, we can begin again - making kinder choices in how we care for, nourish, and show compassion to ourselves - and others.❤️ 

Here’s to you catching a bunch of memorable sunset selfies.